Barbecue for 1,000

It's not every day a girl gets to play with 600 pounds of meat and a smoker the size of a Humvee.

I'm going to back up for a second and tell you this: Every year at work — and this is a food company, mind you — we've eaten the same thing.

Burgers, dogs, chips and watermelon.

Not this year. This year, we were going to eat corn on the cob, saucy ribs, salmon grilled on cedar planks and pulled pork barbecue. Real barbecue. On a real smoker.

But for 1,000 people, one needs a lot of meat and a really big smoker, and as you may have noticed... those aren't available at every corner bodega.

Thus, the quest for real barbecue at our picnic wasn't looking good until someone noticed that Harry's Water Taxi Beach just happens to host a really big smoker.


You're going to need a lot of wood...

The game was on. We needed supplies. A lot of supplies. This turned into an Excel Spreadsheet. A thousand hungry people is nothing you want to tinker with. Details needed to be decided. Among other things, my boss (initiator and executor of this wild scheme) demanded:

200 lb Pork Butts
75 lb Pork Shoulder
50 lb Pork Ribs
40 lb Pork Belly
250 Packages of Potato Rolls
10 gallons of Barbecue Mop
2 Mops
1 Quart Kosher Salt
1 First Aid Kit...

And that's just a sampling. Simply planning out and gathering up the supply list was a monster proposition.


21 dry-aged steaks. You've gotta have snacks while you work.


Let yourself go... low and slow, that is the tempo.

The night arrived, the crew assembled, the supplies were delivered, the fire was lit, and... I'll just let you watch the extremely condensed version of our 12+ hour smoking party in this quick video.



And was it good? Was it worth it? Oh, yes. Best. Company picnic. Ever.

But you don't need 500 pounds of meat and a smoker of epic proportions to make good barbecue.

In my estimation, what you really need is a manageable smoker, a nice pork butt, a bunch of wood, a lot of free time and Paul Kirk's awesome barbecue book, full of recipes for barbecue mops, rubs, sauces and more. Kirk is the man.

Meanwhile, if you want yet more barbecue madness, you can see the full photo set at Flickr.

Cheers,

A Guide to Troubleshooting Marinades

My brother called me up the other day and left a message. It went like this:

"Hey! How you doing? I'm having a barbecue on Friday night and I was wondering if you had some ideas you could give me. Maybe something special? Drop a line and let me know. Thanks!"

Ay yi yi! No information about guest preferences. No information about his protein of choice... pretty much no information.

What would have been most helpful, of course, would be a hint about his flavor preferences. I've found that most meat marinades and sauces zero in on a combination of two (or more) of the following flavors:

Spicy, Salty, Tangy, Sweet, Fresh, Savory and Earthy.



Lime-Cumin Marinade? Earthy, Salty, Tangy
Teriyaki Marinade? Salty, Sweet, Tangy
Balsamic Marinade? Sweet, Tangy
Tandoori Marinade? Tangy, Earthy, Spicy
Mint-Yogurt Marinade? Fresh, Tangy, Spicy
Pomegranate Shashlik Marinade? Tangy, Sweet, Spicy
Jerk Marinade? Spicy, Salty, Tangy
Sesame-Orange Marinade? Sweet, Tangy, Savory
Honey-Mustard Glaze? Sweet, Spicy, Tangy
Argentine Chimichurri Sauce? Fresh, Spicy, Tangy
Classic Barbecue Sauce? Sweet, Tangy, Salty, Savory

I could go on, but you get the idea.

Since I assumed he'd choose beef, I offered my brother a chimichurri sauce and a cumin-lime marinade.

He settled on the chimichurri, but called me just before the barbecue in a minor panic. The sauce was just... so spicy... so herby.

I told him to mix in a teaspoon of sugar and call me back. It worked like a charm. The barbecue was a success. The guests were impressed. But I realized afterward that I should have asked him a couple of questions about his general flavor preferences before winging recipes at him.

Ultimately the secret to sauces and marinades is in the balance of those flavors. Too much salt, too much spice, too much sweetness, too tangy and not savory enough... these are the problems that plague weekend grill chefs everywhere.

My advice is always this: taste the mixture before you marinate your steak/chicken/shrimp/whatever in it. Is it bland? Too full of high notes and not enough low notes? Take note of the following cures:

Could Be More Tangy: prepared mustard, a squeeze of citrus or a shot of vinegar, sometimes plain yogurt works

Bland/Needs More Salt: Try a shake of soy sauce, a little salt or a hint of fish sauce; or, try a dab of black olive or anchovy paste.

Needs More Depth (earthiness): Depending on the recipe, you could try ground cumin, ground coriander, toasted sesame oil, dried oregano or dried thyme.

Could be More Fresh-Flavored: Try chopped fresh basil, parsley, cilantro, mint or pesto.

Not Rich Enough: Kick up the umami with sesame oil, tomato paste, caramelized onions, mushroom powder, fish sauce, anchovy paste or Worcestershire sauce.

Could Use Some Spice: A few chilies, ground black pepper, mustard, cayenne powder or hot paprika usually do the trick.

Needs a Little Sweetness: Try a little sugar, honey, maple syrup, or fruit juice.

Too spicy? You can't take back the chilies, but you can add back some balance with a little honey or sugar.

For your weekend grilling needs, I offer the recipes I gave my brother, plus one extra for the folks who prefer their marinades a little sweeter and less spicy.

Lime-Cumin Skirt Steak
1 beef skirt or flank steak (about 1 1/2 lb)
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp chopped chipotle peppers in adobo sauce (or less, if you can't take the heat)
2 garlic cloves, minced/smashed
1 1/2 Tbsp ground cumin

1. Blend the marinade ingredients together.
2. Chill the steak and the marinade overnight in a zip-top bag.
3. Grill as you normally would. (Probably 3 minutes per side on a medium-high
grill.)
4. Let the meat rest about 10 minutes, and cut into thin slices to serve. This is great with tortillas, grilled onions and peppers.

Another nice option (one that doesn't involve marinating) is the Argentinian chimichurri. They're big on steak there, and this is supposedly the traditional sauce of the gauchos.

Flank Steak with Chimichurri Sauce
Flank steak (1 1/2 to 2 lb)
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1-2 jalapeño peppers (start out with just one)
4 cloves garlic
4 bay leaves
1/2 cup flat-leaf parsley
1/2 cup fresh cilantro
1/2 cup fresh oregano
1/3 cup olive oil
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar (optional)
Olive oil, salt and pepper (for the steak)

1. Blend the vinegar, pepper(s), garlic, bay, parsley, cilantro, oregano and olive oil until smooth.
2. Season to taste with salt and sugar, if using.
3. Dress the flank steak with olive oil, salt and pepper and grill over medium-high heat for 3 to 4 minutes per side.
4. Let the meat rest about 10 minutes, then cut into thin slices (across the grain), and serve with the chimichurri sauce. Mmm. Tasty.

This recipe is great served with grilled green onions.

Sesame-Orange Marinated Steak
1 lb beef skirt, flank or tri-tip steak
1 Tbsp ginger, chopped
2 tsp soy sauce
1/4 cup orange juice (preferably fresh-squeezed)
2 Tbsp sesame oil
1 Tbsp honey
1 Tbsp toasted sesame seeds (optional, for garnish)

1. Combine ginger, soy, orange juice, sesame oil and honey to a blender and mix until incorporated.
2. Pour marinade into a zip-top bag, add the steak and marinate overnight.
3. Remove steak from the marinade, pat off any excess moisture and grill over medium-high coals for 3 to 4 minutes per side.
4. Let the meat rest about 10 minutes, and cut into thin slices (across the grain) to serve. Sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds if desired.

Middle Feastern Delights

Filled with lots of tangy citrus and yogurt flavors and plenty of cool cucumbers, the foods of the Middle East seem particularly suited for warmer weather.

I first encountered spiced ground lamb as a Turkish kabob, but I discovered that the whole operation with the stick seemed like just a bit too much fuss for regular use.

Why not just make spiced lamb meatballs? They're fun to make, not too fussy and are even very nice when munched as cold leftovers for your midnight snacking needs.





This Cucumber-Yogurt Raita goes very well with lamb. You'll find it's similar to a Greek Tzatziki, but tzatziki typically uses garlic instead of citrus. If you'd like something more Greek-y, drop the cumin and substitute puréed garlic for the citrus juice. Voila!

Spicy Lamb Balls w/ Cool Cucumber Raita (Makes 25 meatballs)
For the Spice Blend
1 Tbsp whole coriander
1 Tbsp whole cumin
1/2 Tbsp whole black peppercorn
1/2 Tbsp whole fennel seed or anise

For the Lamb Meatballs
2 pounds lamb
1/2 cup fine breadcrumbs
1 egg
1 tsp kosher salt
1 small onion, minced (optional)
1 tsp olive or canola oil

1. Grind the spices in a spice grinder. (If you're using pre-ground spices, simply blend them together and use 3 tablespoons of the mix for this recipe.)
2. Mix together the lamb, egg, salt, onion (if using) and the ground spice blend in a large mixing bowl.
3. Form golf-ball-sized spheres with the meat mix and set them on a plate while you heat the skillet.
4. In a large (17") skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add about half the lamb balls and cook about 1 minute before gently rolling each ball over with a pair of tongs.
5. Continue cooking the lamb balls for about 5-7 minutes, rolling each ball every 60 seconds to an uncooked side. Remove the cooked balls and drain them on paper towels.
6. Cook the second batch of lamb balls the same way you cooked the first batch. Serve hot or warm with cucumber raita (below).

Cool Cucumber Raita
1 small cucumber, peeled (or half of an unpeeled hothouse cucumber)
1 cup plain yogurt
1 Tbsp fresh-squeezed lemon or lime juice
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1-2 Tbsp chopped mint, cilantro or parsley (optional)

1. Shred the cucumber on a grater and squeeze out all the excess juice you can.
2. Blend squeezed cucumber shreds with yogurt, citrus juice, salt, cumin and herbs (if using).
3. Taste, and if the mixture seems too tart, add a dash of sugar. Serve immediately with the lamb balls. This raita is also terrific with a variety of Indian curries.

This recipe also makes great sandwiches, so if you're in the mood for hand-held food, stuff two to three warm lamb balls into toasted pita halves. Add a bit of shredded lettuce and tomato slices and drizzle with the cucumber sauce.

J loves this meal quite a lot, so we eat it with some frequency. Favorite accompaniments include tabbouleh, hummus, fresh cucumber-tomato salads, pickled beets (locally, the good fellas at Rick's Picks and Wheelhouse Pickles both make some terrific pickled beets) or pickled ramps and tahini sauce.

Cheers!

FoodLink Roundup: 04.28.08

Last week, Cupcake was found (thanks to the sharp mind of Mr. Hazard) in the blossom-filled lanes of Prospect Park, Brooklyn. Where in the world is Cupcake this week? Post a guess in the comments.

A Guide to Bakeries in Manhattan's Chinatown
A handy guide for the gweilo, myself included.

Book-Beer Pairings
Slightly less reading comprehension, slightly more giggling while you turn the pages.

The In Vitro Meat Consortium
I've said it before: The future is yucky.

The All-Natural Taste That Wasn’t
“Isn’t it amazing how many additives it takes to make something taste natural?”
Oh, Pinkberry, you haz betrayed my tiny trust.

Manhattan Milk Company
All new... it's retro.

Guide to Kosher Imaginary Animals
A good "just in case" guide.

When Neighbors Become Farmers
Lawn? We don't need no stinking lawn.

The great British breakfast is a killer
Hilarious. Read through to the response at the end.

Food Quote Friday: Otto von Bismarck

Sausages & cornichon at Le Baron Rouge, Paris

"Those who love sausage and obey the law should not watch either being made."

— Otto von Bismarck

Find more spicy food quotes here.

Food Quote Friday: Woody Allen

"Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage."

— Woody Allen (1935- )

Got Gloves?

Armadillo from "Animalloys: an un-natural history series" at the NYPL

Sometimes you run across a shining gem that requires little in the way of introduction. Case in point: Tips on preparing armadillo from the Field Guide To Meat by Aliza Green.

Preparation:
1. Remove the glands from the legs and back of the armadillo, then clean and cut into serving pieces.
2. Brown in a little oil, covered, until light brown. Stir in enough flour to absorb the oil. Season as desired.
3. Add a small amount of water, barbecue sauce or chopped tomatoes. Simmer for 5-10 minutes or until fork-tender.

Note: Always use rubber gloves when handling raw armadillo, because it can carry leprosy.