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Best.FoodCatalog.Ever.

11.30.2004

Does Bacon really = Freedom?

Good god, it's not a catalog, it's a work of art. Or maybe it's just quality food porn. This week I discovered The Grateful Palate 2005 Gift Catalog. Mmmm. BLT-scented votive candles. Some guy had a passion for bacon, coffee and wine (can you blame him) and translated it into a 6x10" pillow book of hot design, smart illustrations, tempting food, and, oh yes... my weakness... stickers. Lots and lots of food stickers. My apologies to the pigs -- they're intelligent creatures who are, unfortunately, terribly tasty and featured in an array of delicious variations herein.

The Zingerman's catalog does fierce battle with the Grateful Palate for top lust-a-rama honors. They sweep the variety division, offering everything from brownie bonanzas to entire gourmet survival kits. (Anyone got a few hundred laying around? Great. Send me one of those Premiere Food Club kits. Thanks. You rule.) Fantastic illustrations. Mouth-watering copy. And oh, god... Somebody just get that thing out of here before I soak the rug with drool.

Penzey's Spices. Great product. Fun shops. Terrific selection. Reasonable prices. Dog-ass dorky catalog. Somebody buy these guys a designer for Christmas.

You've still gotta love the Harry and David. It's the photography. Every sparkling little droplet (is that water? dew? polymer?) on every plump pear just screams JUICY! LUSCIOUS! These guys (and Swiss Colony, but don't tell anyone), were my first exposure to mailorder food back when I was just a wee sprout. They've reliably been hooking people up with quality produce since the dark ages before the internet went and made food acquisition so damned easy. So, thank you Harry. Thank you, David. Thank you, internet.
 

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Thanks for the Movies

11.24.2004
Ah, holidays! A time for overinflated expectations and bad behavior... have you noticed that Thanksgiving movies inevitably steer clear of the food and focus, instead, on dysfunctional, stressed out people? The Ice Storm, Home For the Holidays, The Daytrippers, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, Pieces of April, What's Cooking, Hannah & Her Sisters, Avalon, The Myth of Fingerprints...

Good for character development, great for driving the storyline, bad for digestion.

Choose non-Thanksgiving food movies... Tampopo, Mostly Martha, Like Water for Chocolate, Babette's Feast, Chocolat, Eat Drink Man Woman, Big Night or even Amélie (with her devilish creme brulee passion)... for films that do a better job of depicting the food as big, bold, dramatic & almost a character unto itself. Bon Appétit!
 

11/28/2004 posted by jku

I stumbled across your blog yesterday; it's nice to find a few other people on the web who understand how to put a sentence together (your subject matter is also a refreshing break from the moody adolescent public diary). As far as Thanksgiving films, I suggest The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover: it's the perfect compromise of explosive human relations AND fine cuisine. Cheers.    



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Every Sandwich is Sacred

11.23.2004
Newest resolution: I must start looking at my food more closely.

Now, I'm a huge fan of the whole sandwich genre, but this story is a bit much. A casino just paid $28,000 on e-bay for a cheese sandwich (and it wasn't even a good cheese sandwich... no butter?) bearing a supposed image of the "Virgin Mary''.

Check it out for yourself. I'd say they were duped. It's actually the late, great Madeline Kahn on that toast.

 

12/02/2004 posted by Heather

hahahahhahahahahhahahahahha    



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Yeah, I Know the Muffin Man

11.19.2004

mmmm... fresh muffins...

So, stop me if you've heard this one before...
There's a batch of muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to another, "Damn, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

(Thanks, folks... I'll be here all week... Don't forget to tip your server...)

The muffin man and me, we go waaaay back. I mean, moist, delicious, snack-sized and terribly portable... what's not to like?

The nice folks at Red Jacket Orchards were sweet enough to send me a case of Newtown Pippins (the official apple of New York city), and I made up a batch of apple muffins (the official muffin of New York state) last night. Curiously enough, the official recipe for the official muffin officially uses the non-official Empire apple.

I tweaked the official recipe a bit (can't help it... I'm a tweaker) and have come up with a version that's perfect for those of us who need to use up apples and like chunky foods (chunky peanut butter, chunky brownies, Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk...).

If you do use this recipe, I recommend these changes: Don't melt the butter. Instead, cream it with the sugar, eggs, spices and cream cheese. Then go ahead and stir in your flour and fold in the chopped apples. (The apple pieces will soften but won't break down, so keep that in mind as you're judging the size of your dice.) I doubled the amount of apple pieces. Finally, just drop the spoon and walk away, or you're going to overmix. Remember: nobody loves a tough muffin.

My oven required a 27-minute cooktime on these babies, but yours might run hotter, so test with a knife/toothpick for doneness.

Oh, and here's my favorite muffin website. I know, I know, you've probably got your own favorite muffin website, but that's mine, and I'm sticking by it.
 

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This Magic Moment, or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Wip

11.18.2004

Another happy nuclear family brought together by Reddi-wip. (Results not typical)

On a quest for the correct capitalization/punctuation combo for "Reddi-wip" (don't ask...), I discovered this exceedingly disturbing trend... our nation's proud love of sprayable food.

This is great news for a realityTV-fed public that's hungry for more, more, and yet more voyeuristic insights into its neighbors' questionable habits and culinary choices (Reddi-wip sandwiches?).

Curb your cynicism... it looks like company PR reps decided on a squeaky-clean exclusivity policy for this particular contest (although I'd wager they received a fair number of "Magic Moments" that weren't quite so family-friendly).

Go on... you know you like to watch...
Reddi-wip Moments
 

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American (Cheese) Pride

11.16.2004

An Artisanal Cheese ripening cave; the hungry masses; an Artisanal basket o' love

Lucky enough to score an invite to the New York Cheeses Showcase at the Artisanal Cheese Center today (mmm... local beer and cheese...), I simultaneously trashed my diet and developed a global political theory.

Somewhere between Artisanal God Terrance Brennan’s bold boast, “They'll be talking about American cheeses in Europe very, very soon...” and Master Fromager Max McCalman’s swoon, “This is the cheese that makes me proud to be an American,” your Hedonista had a tiny epiphany.

Have you noticed we’re not very popular out there in the world lately? Torturing war prisoners and violating standard international battle protocol doesn’t really warm the hearts of neighboring nations or do a lot for our national self-esteem. But I believe we can hit two birds with one stone. Or one cheese, maybe.

Here’s the deal: We’ve been going about this whole American Pride thing all wrong. Instead of investing money and creative manpower in global financial and military domination, we should really be wooing the world where it counts… the tummy.

France and Germany have had their share of international political fiascoes, but who remembers such things when they ply us with Champagne and truffles and invent the Oktoberfest?

Who’s going to stay angry with us when we tempt them with our own national culinary treasures? (We could start out with some crispy Empire apples and that yummy Brovetto Dairy Harpersfield Tilsit-style cheese washed in Ommegang beer...)

Let's invent a few more quality food holidays. Ship out the pies. Pass out the brownies. Let them eat cake... And beer... And cheese. Call it soft power, good karma, or positive public relations. I’d call it just plain neighborly.
 

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Sea Candies

11.15.2004
Folks, welcome to the season of the sea. Cold weather makes the fish fatten (...and what's the cardinal culinary rule? Oh, that's right! Fat=Flavor!), the oysters plump, and the scallops... well, the scallops just do whatever they happen to do during scallop season. Which it is. Scallop season, that is.

This weekend, I sautéed up some fresh, untreated (never buy those nasty wet scallops... unless for some reason you really like soggy seafood and chemical moisteners) Nantucket Bay scallops in a hot skillet with buttah and a dash of the 'ol S&P. Gorgeously caramelized, mindblowingly sweet, the little gems begged me for a wedge of lemon. Alas, I had none at hand.

Low in fat, high in protein and flavor, these little guys may just be the perfect meat. This week, I'm buying a few more to make a ceviche. mmmmm. ceviche...

Meanwhile, here's an adorable guide to cleaning a scallop. A shellfish cleaning guide is adorable, you wonder? Yes, indeed. It's simple, informative, and includes natually-lit photos and one sweet dog. It's a scallop-cleaning guide with a soul. More web sites could take a cue from the scallop cleaning guide.
 

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Where's the Snow, Yo?

11.12.2004


It's damp, dim and dreary. I'm safely tucked indoors, basking in the glow of a space heater, sipping hot chocolate, and dreaming of snowflakes.

The big tree is up. Macy's Santaland is doubtless pumping out elves right now in anticipation of the big Thanksgiving push. New York does the holidays well, but winter itself is a different story. Snow usually falls wet and clumpy, melting on impact or sniveling, sooty, in the shadows and gutters. I'll just continue fantasizing, thanks.

Here's some web toys to placate those who are similarly smitten with the crystalline confetti:

  • Popular Front does a classy snowflake generator.

  • Here's a fractal version for the micro-micro-managers among us.

  • There's another DIY flake maker here. Best thing on the page? The link to "report offensive snowflakes." Heh!
  •  

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    TGIN (thank god it's november...)

    11.10.2004
    Not only can we joyously welcome the official return of the hot chocolate season with steaming cups of dark bittersweet bliss, but the Jacques Torres Chocolate Haven is due to open this month.

    Those tedious trips on the unreliable G train (and subsequent hike across cobblestone streets down to 66 Water Street) are nearing an end! My tastebuds quiver in anticipation....
     

    11/11/2004 posted by Anonymous

    Expect that those wonderful chocolates will be far more expensive this year then in years past. The fighting between french soldiers and rebel factions in the Cote d'Ivoire t has intensified greatly during the last few weeks. Many french citizens have evacuated etc...The area is the world's major producer of cocoa and 80%of its production happens between now and January. Consider me sad. Perhaps the UN can help keep the peace. How dare anyone create an impediment to chocolatey bliss! -the roomie

    intersting links: www.gopusa.com/commentary/guest/2004/jm_1109.shtml ...this one written by an angry conservative, but still has many interesting facts
    www.washingtontimes.com/upi-breaking/20041108-010821-7598r.htm ...this one offers a tiny bit of hope.    



    11/14/2004 posted by Anonymous

    rats, I love chocolate.    



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    Brat Idolatry

    11.09.2004
    It's all about Bratwürship.

    Love the graphics, love the copy, love the sentiment... and who doesn't dig a bouncing bratwurst Flash game?

     

    11/14/2004 posted by Anonymous

    I have to post anonymously, cause that damn sign-in page forces me to create a blog site, and I just want to make a comment; cool site, but I couldn't play the game, cause the download on dialup takes a century    



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    Of Pizzas & Pac-Men

    11.07.2004
    I visited Fornino, the new wood-fired pizza joint in tha 'hood today to multitask:
    1) catching up with a pal,
    2) downing some pie and
    3) rooting for the NY Marathon stragglers tripping down the road just ahead of the sweeper busses, since I figure I'd be back there with 'em ... that is, of course, only if a spell of insanity inexplicably swept over my feeble mind and inspired me to sign up for such misery.

    (And if you've ever timed your jog, you can dream of how you might perform in a marathon using this handy tool: Marathon Time Calculator.)

    But back to the pizza: Fornino's crust was loverly, and topping offerings a delight. J and I decided on the large "Sicilian," a breath-endangering concoction of anchovies, capers, onions, eggplant, fresh tomatoes, calamata olives and oregano (freshly clipped from the backyard garden — the chef stopped by our table specifically for the purpose of talking up his home-grown greens).

    The sauce was light, fresh and thin. It skated, weightless, across the bubbly surface of the crisp crust. I wondered if it shouldn't have had more salt, but with anchovies, olives and capers, a salted sauce would have been unbearable. I wonder, then, do they custom-sauce the slice based on the toppings? I will need to make a return visit to explore, but at a reasonable $16 for our large, fully loaded gourmet pie, I think I can happily dig up both cash and appetite.



    In a similar vein, while looking for Pac-Man ghost images this evening to help me design a T-shirt, I discovered that Pac-Man game designer Toru Iwatani was an inspired pizza fan (and an advocate for pretty-color-lovin' ladies everywhere), as well.

    Here's my favorite section:

    INTERVIEWER: What was the thinking behind the design of Pac Man?

    IWATANI: First of all, the kanji word "taberu," to eat, came to mind. Game design, you see, often begins with words. I started playing with the word, making sketches in my notebook. All the computer games available at the time were of the violent type - war games and space invader types. There were no games that everyone could enjoy, and especially none for women. I wanted to come up with a "comical" game women could enjoy. The story I like to tell about the origin of Pac Man is that one lunchtime I was quite hungry and I ordered a whole pizza. I helped myself to a wedge and what was left was the idea for the Pac Man shape.

    INTERVIEWER: Is that story about the pizza really true?

    IWATANI: Well, it's half true. In Japanese the character for mouth (kuchi) is a square shape. It's not circular like the pizza, but I decided to round it out. There was the temptation to make the Pac Man shape less simple. While I was designing this game, someone suggested we add eyes. But we eventually discarded that idea because once we added eyes, we would want to add glasses and maybe a moustache. There would just be no end to it. Food is the other part of the basic concept. In my initial design I had put the player in the midst of food all over the screen. As I thought about it. I realised the player wouldn't know exactly what to do: the purpose of the game would be obscure. So I created a maze and put the food in it. Then whoever played the game would have some structure by moving through the maze. The Japanese have a slang word - paku paku - they use to describe the motion of the mouth opening and closing while one eats. The name Pac Man came from that word.

    INTERVIEWER: Once you decided Pac Man would be a game of food and eating, what was the next step?

    IWATANI: Well, there's not much entertainment in a game of eating, so we decided to create enemies to inject a little excitement and tension. The player had to fight the enemies to get the food. And each of the enemies has its own character. The enemies are four little ghost-shaped monsters, each of them a different colour - blue, yellow, pink and red. I used four different colours mostly to please the women who play - I thought they would like the pretty colours.




     

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    Whee! Technology is Cool, Yet Scary

    11.05.2004
    I think it's because I'm desperately lazy that I have such bittersweet love for the Beyond Microwave Oven, a funky new nukerowave that allows barcode scans of packages for instant settings.

    The implications that frighten me intensely about this new bit of techie magic are these:

    1. People shouldn't be eating that much packaged food anyway. It doesn't do a body good, if you know what I mean. Microwaves ought to be for warming your barcode-free leftovers.

    2. The sales text: "sometimes it's hard to know exactly what "half-power" means on your microwave, and who can always remember how long to cook those frozen meals?" Believe me, I know how difficult it is to flip your Lean Cuisine entree box over and read those tome-like instructions. Unnghh! It makes my brain hurt SO MUCH!

    3. If you can't read the package instructions or work the microwave, how are you going to work your way through the byzantine business of checking the ingredient list and nutrition information to figure out what it is you're eating?

    Eh, what do I care about literacy or critical thinking skills? Very soon, we'll all exist on caffeine (your choice of carrier vehicle), Netflix and Jamba Juice with Powerboosts(R).

    (Thanks to Josh for the freaky BMO tip!)
     

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    Dark and Stormy Night = Comfort Food!

    11.04.2004


    A handful of days past the seasonal time change, and our nights are dark and cold (and damp!), making our nighttime bike rides terribly unpleasant.

    Dampness and coldness and sniffly noses simply beg for something warm, hearty, and soothing.

    The French — apparently no strangers to the dark and stormy night — have just the thing: the cassoulet! It's a homey delight, chock-full of zippy sausage, delicate duck confit, savory braised lamb, and tender cannoli beans swimming in thick, rich sauce. (I'll take mine with a crisp layer of Japanese panko toasted on the top.) That's the meatitarian original, and any recipe worth its salt will have duck confit, pork and, I'd wager, a bouquet garni (that's French for "bundle of herbs," yo).

    Mighty meaty, eh? But never fear, my veggie and pork-free friends, good Chef Daniel Boulud didn't forget you, publishing this delicious root-vegetable version in his Cafe Boulud Cookbook. Hurrah! A cassoulet in every pot! A warm belly in every home!
     

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    Loss and Grief

    11.03.2004
    It's another dark day in a long string of 'em, folks. I offer some guidance as we (well, half of us, anyway) wrestle with Loss and Grief

    SHOCK / DENIAL

    Do you feel a sense of isolation, numbness, disbelief, restlessness, and/or confusion? Welcome to "Shock and Denial," a state in which you may find it difficult to think or concentrate. You mind may feel hazy, and daily tasks may seem insurmountable. Turn off CNN and switch over to the Cartoon Network for a while.

    BARGAINING

    As you move into stage two, you may feel persecuted. You may feel the need to count every vote. You may find yourself pleading consciously or unconsciously, with a higher authority. Don't bother with the Supreme Court, however, because they're not really working for you right now.

    ANGER

    Feelings of injustice and bitterness often create anger, which can be a motivating force. Physical exertions such as yoga, martial arts and body-slamming the nearest guilty party are common methods for dealing with anger. Personally, I recommend you use this time to join the ACLU.

    DEPRESSION

    As anger and denial dissipate, depression inevitably follows. Feelings of hopelessness may wax and wane. Even after you believe you have moved to a stage of acceptance, you may still have times when sadness returns. This is normal. To move away from depression, you must regain a sense of identity and develop methods of coping. Try cup of hot chocolate, a bubble bath, and a fresh carton of insults to throw during the inauguration.

    ACCEPTANCE

    Feelings of resignation return to the everyday routine punctuated by occasional bouts of depression, anger and dark humor.
     

    11/07/2004 posted by Anonymous

    Someone on NPR said, "I feel like an expatriate in my own country." Short of moving to another country, I appreciate some coping mechanisms.    



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    Follow Along With the Fun!

    11.02.2004
    Picture Pages, Picture Pages, time to do our Picture Pages!
    Lots of fun with crayons and a pencil.
    Picture Pages, Picture Pages! Open up your Picture Pages!
    Time to have Bill Cosby draw a picture page with you!


    Print an electoral map and play along! It's fun with democracy!
     

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    I voted! Now where's my damn sticker?



    "Today, if you possibly haven't heard, is Election Day 2004. If you are a citizen of the United States of America, it is your remarkable privilege to elect your representatives in government. Let cynicism sleep until tomorrow -- today we vote."

    -themorningnews.org

    Ah, election day.

    Like most city employees, my girl Miss K at the NYPD got today off as a holiday. Personally, I believe that voting is such a historically and culturally important right|privilege|responsibility, we should all get the day off. Americans don't get enough holidays anyway.

    And for that matter, there should be food. Maybe an omelet bar that you can visit after you vote. Or at the very least, cinnamon rolls and coffee. mmm...
     

    11/03/2004 posted by Anonymous

    no frickin'"I voted!" sticker this election. poo! where have my tax dollars gone? oh yeah, Iraq.

    Bush=Dick and not in the good way. : (

    -the roomie    



    11/03/2004 posted by Martin

    Yep. Food is a damm fine idea! You got to be careful though - I can see village halls all over the UK being filled with cucumber and tuna sandwitches at the next election.

    What you say is true. After voting you expect change and you hope the right decision has been made, and yes, I wanted a sticker last time too.    



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