Faster? I’m the fastest.

This entry falls into the "confessional blog" category, so if you're just here for a recipe or a pretty picture, skip on down to a different post. This one gets a bit ugly.

After reading an article in my dad’s Yoga Journal (the April, 2007 issue, I believe) on the benefits of fasting, I was intrigued. Now, I realize this blog is "The Hedonista," and fasting is about as anti-hedonist as it gets, but I'm all about exploration.

I did a little more research, and the arguments in favor of the occasional fast seemed compelling. It’s a process our ancient ancestors probably underwent with some frequency, initially due to shortages and later, due to religious motivations, so it seems likely that human bodies could be well adapted to experiencing both feast and famine periods.

Fasting practitioners claim that fasts provide all kinds of benefits from a body detox and an increase in energy and clear-headedness to an improvement in the workings of the body’s elimination systems (health fasters seem to be big on the elimination thing). More than that, voluntary fasting is inexpensive, practiced worldwide and often tied to reasons of religious and spiritual focus. I figured I’d also gain even more appreciation for the flavors of food once I started eating again.

One of the pieces I read mentioned that fasts are often undertaken in the spring and fall to emphasize moments of inner cleansing and renewal (And you'll note that Lent, Ramadan and Yom Kippur each take place in the spring or fall).

Having just rolled past the spring equinox, I was already jonesing to wash the floors, scrub the tub, lubricate my bike chain and prune the stack of magazines clogging the coffee table, so why not try an internal spring cleaning as well?

I decided on the juice fast, which seemed like a low-impact route. Juice fasters are supposed to reap the benefits of fasting without many risks, so it seemed like a wise move for my first foray. I figured three days would do the trick: I’d be a little hungry on the first and second days and then I’d achieve physical and mental clarity and enlightenment on the third. Whee!

I found a recipe for a special potion you’re supposed to sip. It’s supposedly detoxifying (you'll note this is a big buzzword in fasting circles), and it's extremely simple to make.

The detox beverage
2-3 Tbsp freshly squeezed lime juice
2 Tbsp pure maple syrup
1/2 tsp ground cayenne pepper

Mix and combine with 8 oz fresh water. Sip throughout the day.

Inexplicably, everyone from my coworkers to my roomie already knew about this stuff (I’ll refer to it as LMC), so I took that as a good sign. Also, when working at the garde manger station at the restaurant, we happened to always have fresh lime juice, maple syrup and water on hand, so I ignorantly used to mix a variation of this magic potion and sip it while I worked. It wasn’t fantastic, but it was cold and refreshing and kind of reminded me of limeade or homespun Gatorade.

Lacking a home juicer, I bought a bunch of easy-to-squeeze limes, 100% tomato juice, 100% carrot juice, 100% fresh orange juice and whole ginger, along with some herbal detox tea, laxative tea and a few chicken backs that I could simmer into a chicken-veggie stock (the chicken stock at the store was full of crazy additives, and I didn’t really think modified food starch and “seasonings” were appropriate for my spring cleaning).

I chopped up the ginger and simmered it in water, put up three quarts of chicken-veggie stock, had a big, green salad for dinner and drank a cup of the laxative tea before bed (which, in retrospect, was perhaps my first mistake).

The next morning I awoke, hungry, but having successfully completed the first ten hours of the three-day adventure. I sipped a blend of orange, carrot and ginger juice.

It was Friday. A lighter day. I’d be a little hungry, then I'd keep busy cleaning the apartment on Saturday and I'd finish up the fasting on Sunday.

Cue the doom song. You can probably imagine how the rest goes, but here’s the diary I kept:

7:30 a.m. I resist the urge to make a smoothie. It's a strong urge.
8:00 a.m. I sip a carrot-orange-ginger juice while I juice limes. Juicing limes is good for the biceps. The COG juice seems thick with a nice balance of sweet, sour and spice. I savor it and wonder whether I should pack a thermos for work. No... the Lime-Maple-Cayenne drink will sustain me, right?
8:45 a.m. I bike to work without incident. I don't think I'm supposed to bike. I'm supposed to sit quietly and meditate or something.
9:00 a.m. I begin drinking my detox tea and sipping a 32 oz portion of the LMC concoction. It's revolting. Might be better over ice. The next batch will definitely have less cayenne in it.
9:15 a.m. My intestines feel queasy.
9:30 a.m. Bathroom dash.
10:00 a.m. First meeting. I leave the LMC at my desk. It looks weird. The tea doesn't look suspicious. I resist the open-topped, beckoning box of Jewel Dates near purchasing as I walk to my meeting.
10:45 a.m. There's those dates again on the way back to my desk. I continue my incredible program of resistence.
11:00 a.m. I'm supposed to be proofreading the ad copy. I'm doing a hack job of it. I can't focus. This sucks.
11:45 a.m. I can't concentrate. My hand keeps floating toward the desk drawer that contains my dried fruits and nuts. My mind is wandering loose around the room. Someone just brought by a plate bearing chunks of freshly baked maple-glazed ham. I salivate and resist. I drink another swig of LMC.
11:55 a.m. I'm a floaty cloud. I'm a floaty cloud that needs go find the bathroom again.
11:57 a.m. Passing Merchandising, there's those dates again. I resist. Passing Purchasing... Oh, no. It's the ham. I am weak.
11:58 a.m. Who knew maple-glazed ham went so well with dates?

I didn’t even make it to noon. Fifteen hours total. Fastest fast ever.

The lessons: Clearly, working at a food company is not an asset to fasters. People who need to carefully concentrate on important tasks should think twice before fasting on work days. Laxative teas deserve respect. Also: quitting both a hefty caffeine habit and a well-established food routine on the same day… probably not a recipe for fasting success.

Post-fast, I'm sure those who eat a lot of packaged foods and fast food could experience effects in mood and energy by cutting out these foods in favor of fresh fruit and vegetable juices, but I now wonder how beneficial fasting can be if a person already eats a varied diet of mostly fruit, nuts, whole grains and veggies.

I may try fasting again, but if I do, it’ll be a project undertaken after kicking the caffeine monkey. I’d start on a day when I don’t need my brain for anything, and I’d definitely remove myself from contact with food.

I now know that even if my will starts strong, I can never again underestimate the empty belly’s weakness in the presence of a maple-glazed ham.