Happy National Tortilla Chip Day!

Every day is a day for celebration, yes?

It appears that some days are more worthy than others. I just compiled a list of national food holiday days, and I discovered that July 18th is simultaneously National Ice Cream Day and National Caviar Day. Eww! Who coordinated that little gustatory nightmare?

A few discoveries...

The peanut growers' lobby is a force to be reckoned with (National Peanut Month: March 1-31, National Peanut Butter Lover's Day: March 1, National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day: April 2, National Peanut Butter Lover's Month: November 1-30)

July belongs to blueberries

Donut Day lasts an entire weekend (1st weekend in June)

After carefully pondering all these days of festivity, I find that a host of other, equally important questions now haunt me:

What is one required to do on Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day (July 29)?

Why is date-nut bread worthy of not one, but two dedicated days of celebration?

What's so great about celebrating Moldy Cheese Day (October 9) and Poisoned Blackberries Day (September 29)?

How does one verify whether National Rocky Road Day (June 2) refers to the ice cream flavor or actual rocky roads?

Why is February not already National Hot Chocolate Month? To what governing body would I petition a demand?

Behold! Your yearly food agenda!* Add to your iCal now, before you let another National Chocolate-Covered Raisins Day (March 24) slip by unnoticed!

JANUARY
Oatmeal Month: January 1-31
Prune Breakfast Month: January 1-31
National Hot Tea Month: January 1-31
National Soup Month: January 1-30
Bean Day: January 6
Hot and Spicy Food International Day: January 16
National Popcorn Day: January 19
National Buttercrunch Day: January 20
National Blonde Brownie Day: January 22
National Pie Day: January 23
Eskimo Pie Patent Day: January 24
National Corn Chip Day: January 29

FEBRUARY
Canned Food Month: February 1-28
National Snack Food Month: February 1-28
National Grapefruit Month: February 1-28
Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day: February 11
National Plum Pudding Day: February 12
National Gumdrop Day: February 15
National Chocolate Mint Day: February 19
National Pancake Week: February 21-27
National Tortilla Chip Day: February 24
National Pistachio Day: February 26

MARCH
National Frozen Food Month: March 1-31
National Noodle Month: March 1-31
National Peanut Month: March 1-31
National Peanut Butter Lover's Day: March 1
National Frozen Food Day: March 6
National Crown Roast of Pork Day: March 7
Johnny Appleseed Day: March 11
American Chocolate Week: March 14-20
National Potato Chip Day: March 14
Poultry Day: March 19
National Chip and Dip Day: March 23
National Chocolate-Covered Raisins Day: March 24
Pecan Day: March 25
Waffle Day: March 25
Spinach Festival Day: March 26
Maple Syrup Saturday: 3rd Saturday in March
Something on a Stick Day: March 28
National Clams on the Half Shell Day: March 31

APRIL
National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day: April 2
National Egg Salad Week: April 12-18
National Pecan Day: April 14
National Eggs Benedict Day: April 16
National Cheeseball Day: April 17
National Garlic Day: April 19
National Jelly Bean Day: April 22
National Pigs in a Blanket Day: April 24
National Zucchini Day: April 25
National Pretzel Day: April 26
National Shrimp Scampi Day: April 29

MAY
National Egg Month: May 1-31
National Hamburger Month: May 1-31
National Chocolate Custard Month: May 1-31
National Barbeque Month: May 1-31
National Salad Month: May 1-31
National Raisin Week: May 1-7
National Candied Orange Peel Day: May 4
National Hoagie Day: May 5
Beverage Day: May 6
National Roast Leg of Lamb Day: May 7
Have a Coke Day: May 8
Eat What You Want Day: May 11
National Chocolate Chip Day: May 15
National Escargot Day: May 24
National Hamburger Day: May 28
National Macaroon Day: May 31

JUNE
National Iced Tea Month: June 1-30
Turkey Lovers Month: June 1-30
National Fresh Fruit and Vegetable Month: June 1-30
National Papaya Month: June 1-30
National Dairy Month: June 1-30
National Rocky Road Day: June 2
Donut Day: 1st weekend in June
National Applesauce Cake Day: June 6
National Chocolate Ice Cream Day: June 7
Name Your Poison Day: June 8
Kitchen Klutzes of America Day: June 13
Eat Your Vegetables Day: June 17
Ice Cream Soda Day: June 20
National Chocolate Éclair Day: June 22
National Chocolate Pudding Day: June 26

JULY
National Baked Beans Month: July 1-31
National Ice Cream Month: July 1-31
National July Belongs to Blueberries Month: July 1-31
Creative Ice Cream Flavor Day: July 1
National Fried Chicken Day: July 6
National Strawberry Sundae Day: July 7
National Sugar Cookie Day: July 9
National Pecan Pie Day: July 12
National Tapioca Pudding Day: July 15
National Peach Ice Cream Day: July 17
National Ice Cream Day: July 18
National Caviar Day: July 18
National Vanilla Ice Cream Day: July 23
Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day: July 29
National Milk Chocolate Day: July 28
National Cheesecake Day: July 30

AUGUST
National Catfish Month: August 1-31
Peach Month: August 1-31
National Raspberry Cream Pie Day: August 1
National Ice Cream Soda Day: August 2
National Ice Cream Sandwich Day: August 2
National Watermelon Day: August 3
National Mustard Day: August 5
Sneak some Zucchini on Your Neighbor’s Porch Night: August 8
National Creamsicle Day: August 14
Bratwurst Festival: August 16
Potato Day: August 19
National Spumoni Day: August 21
National Spongecake Day: August 23
National Cherry Popsicle Day: August 26
More Herbs, Less Salt Day: August 29
National Toasted Marshmallow Day: August 30
National Trail Mix Day: August 31

SEPTEMBER
All American Breakfast Month: September 1-30
Better Breakfast Month: September 1-30
National Chicken Month: September 1-30
National Honey Month: September 1-30
National Date-Nut Bread Day: September 8
National Chocolate Milkshake Day: September 12
National Cream-Filled Doughnut Day: September 14
National Apple Dumpling Day: September 17
National Butterscotch Pudding Day: September 19
International Banana Festival: September 21
National Food Service Employees Day: September 22
National Pancake Day: September 26
Poisoned Blackberries Day: September 29

OCTOBER
National Applejack Month: October 1-31
National Seafood Month: October 1-31
Vegetarian Awareness Month: October 1-31
National Pickled Peppers Month: October 1-31
National Dessert Month: October 1-31
National Pretzel Month: October 1-31
National Popcorn Poppin' Month: October 1-31
World Vegetarian Day: October 1
National Frappe Day: October 7
Moldy Cheese Day: October 9
National Angel Food Cake Day: October 10
National Peanut Festival: October 13
National Dessert Day: October 14
National Nut Day: October 22
National Bologna Day: October 24
National Chocolate Day: October 28
National Candy Corn Day: October 30

NOVEMBER
National Peanut Butter Lover's Month: November 1-30
National Fig Week: November 1-7
National Deviled Egg Day: November 2
Sandwich Day: November 3
National Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day: November 7
National Pizza with the Works Except for Anchovies Day: November 12
National Indian Pudding Day: November 13
National Cashew Day: November 23
National Parfait Day: November 25

DECEMBER
National Pie Day: December 1
Eat a Red Apple Day: December 1
National Fritters Day: December 2
National Sacher Torte Day: December 5
National Gazpacho Day: December 6
National Cotton Candy Day: December 7
National Pastry Day: December 9
National Noodle-Ring Day: December 11
Ice Cream and Violins Day: December 13
National Bouillabaisse Day: December 14
National Lemon Cupcake Day: December 15
National Chocolate-Covered Anything Day: December 16
National Maple Syrup Day: December 17
National Roast Suckling Pig Day: December 18
Oatmeal Muffin Day: December 19
National Hamburger Day: December 21
National French Fried Shrimp Day: December 21
National Date-Nut Bread Day: December 22
National Eggnog Day: December 24
National Pumpkin Pie Day: December 25
National Fruitcake Day: December 27
National Chocolate Day: December 28
National Bicarbonate of Soda Day: December 30

*I can't verify these dates with absolute certainty, so don't blame me if you're whooping it up on National Eggs Benedict Day and you find out it's actually National Pizza with the Works Except for Anchovies Day. You celebrate at your own risk, people.