An Order of Self-Indulgence w/ a Side of Pizza, Please

Okay, this is self-indulgent, but blogs are essentially self-indulgent anyway, and I managed to work in a food angle, so either skip it and wait for the Chinese New Year piece... or read on, allowing me a navel-gazing moment.

About 3 1/2 years ago, I acted in Planetfall, a little (read: DV film), independent, (read: no budget) sci-fi western (read: popcorn movie). They recently wrapped production and had a Minneapolis premiere last weekend, which sold out its first showing and seemed well received by the audience. (Helpful side note to anyone who might need to sign autographs for the first time... bring along your own Sharpie, and sign the paper part of the dvd insert, not the plastic case.) Box office totals for the weekend were $2,038 (beating out #7 ranked "Meet the Fockers" at $1,919, based on per-screen averages). Yay, us.

Sadly, the local critic who wrote it up gave this production one of the worst reviews I've ever read for an indie film. Honestly... this is a the kind of review that would make John Waters squeal with delight and print up a fresh batch of posters with nasty pull quotes all over 'em.

To be honest, I'm simply pleased we got a review at all ... but since she threw down the gauntlet, here's the reply I sent to the City Pages in which criticism of critics joins forces with a pizza analogy in the battle against obnoxious ignorance. Enjoy. Back to food tomorrow.

It’s a shame Kate Sullivan is so pleased with her ability to turn out a snarky comment. The self-satisfied glee with which she slams locally produced sci-fi feature Planetfall makes for such great copy, I almost forget that every low blow comes at the expense of accuracy and equity.

I’ll admit that movie critique is not my forte, but I can’t help but draw a comparison to something that is a bit more within my line of expertise: food writing. When reviewing a family-built pizza joint that focuses on local ingredients and techniques, I don’t criticize the size of the bankroll they used to build the place. I don’t slam young cooks when they don’t produce work on the same level as Mario Batali, Wolfgang Puck or Thomas Keller. And I sure as hell wouldn’t be so mean-spirited as to question the “hotness” of the hostess.

If Sullivan had done a bit of research into the goals and methods of the drive-in movie genre so adored by the Planetfall cast and crew, she might have printed something more evenhanded and genre-conscious. She might have called the effort gutsy and ambitious or even taken a moment to praise local filmmaking. She might have said (as the City Pages’ Rob Nelson did about Carschool’s first feature, “Go to Hell”) that Planetfall was “quite an achievement to have mustered (on a measly budget, yet).”

But the truth is this: open-minded and informed can’t hold a candle to cruel and dismissive when it comes to turning in copy that snaps.