Nostalgic for the days of SATs, ACTs and GMATs? Welcome home, dork.
Starwich, a brand-spankin' new sandwich/salad shop in Hell's Kitchen, issues you one of those long-forgotten scantron sheets (no number 2 pencil necessary, kids) not to align you in an intelligence percentile comparison with your peers, but to assist you in choosing your sandwich or salad. You fill it out, they send that sheet through the big brain, and out comes your custom-made sandwich. Beauty. Better yet, they offer wireless access and claim to be able to save up to ten of your favorites. I think I'm in love.
Didn't think the sandwich was brain surgery? Think again. There's more than 12o options on this menu, folks. Everything from white truffle oil to seckle pears. Don't know your cabrales from your camembert? There's a cheat sheet on the back for food neophytes.
And yes, this is a test you can fail, so don't go choosing all willy-nilly. Hint: Boiled eggs, pomegranate seeds and feta is the wrong answer.
I, of course, am a highly skilled individual trained in the culinary arts (for $30,000, I'd better be able to put together a kick-ass sandwich, dammit), and chose a mouthwatering combination from the get-go: watercress, heirloom tomatoes, caramelized onions, sunchokes and fig reduction on a Tuscan log. Delish.
Never fear, average students, they have a traditional menu available for those unfortunates for whom the scantron produced deer-in-the-headlights-style anxiety.
Were it not for the out-in-the-boonies location and $9 sticker price, you might well see me at Starwich daily. Swoon!
Starwich (525 W 42nd St., btwn 10th & 11th)